Understanding Dopamine, Oxytocin, and the Power of Goals

Mark E Sharp
3 min readJan 15, 2024

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Our brains operate on intricate chemical systems that influence our emotions and behaviours in our complex world.

Two key players in this neurochemical symphony are dopamine and oxytocin. Let’s unravel the mystery behind these neurotransmitters and explore the importance of distinguishing between intrinsic and extrinsic goals for a more fulfilling life.

Dopamine and Oxytocin: The Brain’s Messengers

Dopamine: The Motivator
Dopamine is often dubbed the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. It’s associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation. Your brain releases dopamine when you accomplish a goal, experience success, or engage in activities you enjoy. This chemical messenger acts as a motivator, encouraging you to repeat the behaviour that led to its release. From completing a task to enjoying a delicious meal, dopamine plays a crucial role in reinforcing positive behaviours.

Oxytocin: The Bonding Hormone
On the other hand, oxytocin is often called the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone.” It’s released in various social situations, such as hugging, cuddling, or even during positive interactions. Oxytocin encourages social connections, trust, and emotional intimacy. It plays a significant role in forming and maintaining relationships, from parent-child bonding to friendships and romantic partnerships.

The Need for Clarity: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Goals

Intrinsic Goals: Fulfillment from Within
Intrinsic goals are those driven by internal motivations, personal growth, and a genuine sense of satisfaction. Pursuing activities you love, learning new skills, or engaging in creative endeavours are examples of intrinsic goals. These goals align with your values and contribute to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. The pursuit of inherent goals is closely tied to increased well-being and happiness.

Extrinsic Goals: External Validation
Extrinsic goals, on the other hand, involve seeking external validation, recognition, or rewards. Examples include pursuing wealth, fame, or status for others’ opinions. While achieving extrinsic goals can bring temporary satisfaction, relying solely on external validation may lead to emptiness and a lack of fulfilment in the long run.

Why It Matters?

Dopamine and Goal-Setting
Understanding the role of dopamine in goal-setting is crucial for maintaining a healthy motivation cycle. While dopamine can drive us to achieve external goals, ensuring these goals align with our intrinsic values is essential. Balancing the pursuit of both intrinsic and extrinsic goals can lead to a more holistic and satisfying life.

Oxytocin and Relationships
Recognising the impact of oxytocin on social bonds highlights the importance of genuine connections. Instead of solely focusing on external achievements, investing time and energy in building meaningful relationships can contribute to long-lasting happiness and emotional well-being.

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Goals for a Balanced Life
Clarifying intrinsic and extrinsic goals allows us to make intentional choices. While external accomplishments may provide short-term happiness, cultivating a life rich in intrinsic goals ensures a more sustainable and profound well-being.

Takeaways for a Balanced Life

1. Reflect on Your Goals: Take a moment to assess your goals. Do internal passions and values drive them, or are they solely focused on external validation?

2. Balance is Key: Aim to balance intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Recognise the value of personal growth and fulfilment alongside external achievements.

3. Prioritise Relationships: Cultivate meaningful connections. The oxytocin released during positive social interactions contributes significantly to overall happiness.

4. Embrace Intrinsic Fulfillment: Find joy in activities that resonate with your inner self. Pursuing intrinsic goals can lead to a more authentic and satisfying life.

So what?
The roles of dopamine and oxytocin in our lives and being clear on the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic goals can pave the way for a more balanced and fulfilling existence. Strive for a life that combines personal growth, meaningful relationships, and the occasional dose of external success for a harmonious journey toward happiness.

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Mark E Sharp
Mark E Sharp

Written by Mark E Sharp

I have over 20 years of experience in the digital industry as an Operations Director and Consultant. My area of focus is on Organisational and Business Design.

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